I decided to start up...again

Well i haven't written anything on here in a while and alot of things have happened. ill quick run you through on everything. i went on a cross the us-Canada vacation. i spent a crap load of time at home. high school is awesome and i am getting great grades. then it all comes down to the fact that now sit at my computer typing this. well i just finished another piece to add to all my works, a song! here it is: "my heart is for you" and i dedicate it to Lea.

There is a feeling,
I can't place what or where,
My heart pounds and beats,
Every time I smell your sweet breath,
Every time I feel your smooth skin,
Every time our lips touch my heart jumps,
I hold you in my arms,
I let my fingers dance across your skin,
Our lips seemingly forever bonded,
Our tongues twisted and knotted together.

Chorus:
You have become a part of my life and mine as yours,
You came and set on my shores,
The colors you sail under are of love,
The instant you came it was not a meaningless shove,
I want you to have something sacred,
Something I have kept pure and away from hatred,
I want you to have my heart.

I want to hold you close,
I want to hold you tight,
Yet obstacles come into my path,
Betrayals, Separation, and Lies,
I never know whats next,
But it always gets worse every time,
I don't know if life could get much worse,
But I still and will always love you,
I want you to know, I will die for you.
I watch my heart beet in your hand,
While in the other lies a dagger,
Will you plunge it deep and kill me?
Or let the dagger fall and keep my heart as yours?

Chorus:

Take my heart or sail away,
Take it and be my eternal lover,
Or plunge that knife deep and go back to the sea,
If you keep it treat it right,
Because if it is wronged in your hands,
It will die and you have no hope of reviving me,
I believe you will treat it right,
I just want you to hold it tight,
Don't let it slip out of your hands,
Hold it tight and fight for me and love me,
Love me and only me for you can only
Hold one heart at a time.
Don't leave me to die alone.
I refuse to die without you,
You are my everything,
You are my Love,
You are my Soul.
Take that dagger and throw it away,
And hold my heart tight... Forever.


Hope you liked it.
Your master has spoken...

Harry Potter

Last night i was up till 2 am watching the harry potter movies. i started at 2 pm with Harry Potter and the Sorcercer's Stone and finished with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at 2 am. 12 hours of Harry Potter and it was time well spent. I'm utterly tired at the moment. i still need to finish harry potter and the half-blood prince book but I've been caught up in a book called The Alycemyst: the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel it really interesting.

life has many mistories and im one of them. trust me i am. they say the older the wiser well im not that old and i speak as if i am an old sage(example on My Sharpest Lives: Peices blog). im hungry so im going to eat something and then play some games.

Your Master has spoken...
-ZCF

Pain...

everyone has herd of the word and everyone has experienced it. well i have suffered enough. i suffered five years of loneliness and depression and its all over now no thanks to Lea(Thank You). well i wish it all could stop for me but sadly i have an entire life filled of it left. i understand it all now it is all clear. i have now "Inner Peace". something everyone(i think) wants. well i have suffered and what happened i "wouldn't wish it on my enemy" for what happened it far to painful. Lea this is something you need to understand YOU NEVER HURT ME... i am who i am because of my pain. i am a nice person. even in my state of pain i helped anyone who needed it. but the downside is when i helped someone they never asked if i was okay or if i needed help. i never had anyone there for me in my time of need. well life is chalked full of pain we all deal with it differently well all my pain went it a "Bottle" and i sealed it up never letting my emotions out. only recently it "broke" i let it all out. i feel better about my self i guess in a sense "i got a taste of my own medicine" well i must have been a good doctor. life is life make the best of it while you still can. "Card May Diem"(seize the day). i want no one feeling bad for me i don't want anyone to be upset on my account.

Your Master has spoken...
-ZCF

Where to turn?

I don't know what i need to turn to. I have had terrible things happen to me so many years ago. I thought something my heart told me was true. well it lied, and I can't forgive it. Four years ago I stopped listening to what it told me to do. After a time it went away. But now its coming back and it is telling me something important. Should I listen or not? I don't know my mind has no idea. Before anyone tells me anything I'll say this. I made a choice I would never listen to my heart again. Now the story is different. I have someone telling me to listen and it is saying something I want to happen but my mind is telling me other wise. I don't know what to follow. They always say follow your heart. But I want to and what i love could be in the balance of it all. If I follow my mind the love will turn me away and I will never be the same. The cost of it all seems to great, so I leave it to you to make my choice. Do I follow my heart or my mind?

Your Master has spoken...
-ZCF

If I could have my wasted days back...

I was thinking while I was talking to Lea and I thought of a Metallica line from a song "If I could have my wasted days I would use them to get my life back on track." well I thought about and I looked back on my life and saw I wasted FOUR years of my life. I was really depressed for four years I had one friend and the rest of the world hated me. If anyone asks why here's your answer: I DON'T KNOW!!! The no one every loved me. I hated it. My parents just never bothered because they thought I was just acting like a normal teen. Well I am finally happy and they apparently don't care. I just want to fall off a large cliff and think about no one loves me and how I wasted my life. then to land perfectly fine. i don't want to die yet. i just want to fall. the feeling of wind flowing through my hair. I find peace when i fall. I love to fly but I'm human. oh well there is always sky diving. I'm listening to Metallica right now and the song fits how i feel. Its the song "Until it sleeps." the beginning lyrics are "Where do i take this pain of mine? I'd run but it stays right by my side. so tare me open pull me out. The things inside me scream and shout. and the pain still hates me, so hold me until it sleeps..." There is only one cure. i could let you guess but i feel generous. The cure is being with Lea. Why? She makes me forget. she makes the pain go away. it fades and doesn't come back till we separate. i wish every bad thing that ever happened to not have. but life is chalked full of pain. one has to deal with it. well enough of my problems others have dealt with worse. no use in my complaining.

Your master has spoken...
-ZCF

THERE!!!!!!

It's changed! I finally changed my profile name from "fallow" to "follow". I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CORRECT MY SPELLING.

Your Master has spoken.
-ZCF

I'm Back!!

I back from a week in Virginia. I had a good time and i earned all of my merit badges. I guess I'll start from Day 1: when we arrived we all got out and started to figure out who tented with who for the week. I tried to get my best friend Nate Guse to tent with me but another person said they called it 3 weeks ago. so i got stuck with Ryan Copper. someone I'm not to "in touch" with(meaning I'm not good friends with this person). well we get our stuff up to camp and unload as usual. well it was raining all the week before so the camp site was still a little muddy. long story short the trailer got stuck, great... everyone grabbed as many sticks as we could and shoved them underneath the wheels. it worked for 2 seconds. then everyone got to the back of the trailer and pushed as hard as we could.we got the trailer up to the road by sheer man power. after everyone got there crap unpack and everyone got settled we got ready for the traditional capture the flag game. i was in all black and i wore a black bandanna over my face. i got to the other side and did some reconnaissance. i found nothing. then i heard my brother scream in pain. i ran out as fast as i could yelling at the top of my lungs "WHAT HAPPENED!?" i didn't see what happened but i assumed what seeing who was standing over my brother. Ryan Wheaton was standing over my brother. i was just about to slug him right in the face for what i assumed. thought he pushed Sean over. Ryan has a past of hearting my brother. then Nate said it wasn't him Sean tripped under his feet and Ryan was right behind him. after that Sean was sent up to camp to receive first aide. shortly after we won the game. everyone was tired and we went back to camp and turned in. Day 2: i was really enjoying my sleep when i heard Mr.Vandenbark yelling "GOOD MORNING POWHATAN!!! ITS TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL!!!" right when i thought he couldn't get more lame he went and said that. we got up and we went to breakfast. before i continue i want to establish this: camp food sucks! well, we went down and ate nothing spacial. merit badge went according to plan. i got to shoot a shotgun for the week(i am an excellent shot by the way). that went on for 2 hours a day. then i went to Emergency Preparedness something that prepares you for all sorts of disasters. then we go to lunch. after that i go to Life Saving which is self-explanatory. after that i went to the Art merit badged. very very easy class. then came dinner, nothing spacial. after dinner we went to the opening camp fire. we saw skits pulled by the counselors. they were lame jokes but they were kinda funny. well after that we all turned in when we got back to camp. Day 3-6: a everything was pretty much the same. i went to merit badges and went to meals and slept as much as i could. as the days went by i reallied on every meal to give me energy. i was always tired. I also realized there was SO much iron in the water from the pipes. The water tasted like BLOOD. it was nasty. soon i relied on Dr.Pepper to keep me hydrated. that didn't do the trick. i was severely De-hydrated that's why i was tried all the time. well i got all my merit badges. that's a good thing. Day 7: we get up and pack all our stuff in the trailer. we head down to breakfast and eat some donuts. after that we check out of camp and hit the road. i started to play Metallica and fell asleep from time to time. the trip was some what uneventful. except when the trailer blew a tire(i wasn't in the vehicle). after that i tried to call Lea and tell her i was fine and on my way home. i got a hold of her right before we stopped for lunch. On day 3 i made my own prophecy i would eat until i got really sick or i barfed. well long story short i was really close to puking. well i got home and i relaxed for a few hours and took a lap so that's that. this is ZCF signing off...

Your Master has spoken...
-ZCF